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Better Man Projects Framework

Habit change work can be one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of our lives. 

Think of your "work" as what you’re focusing on in your life right now. Work is always a process. It can be a new habit, a positive behavior that a person wants to practice, an exercise they commit to trying, or a question they want to explore. 

Since deciding what to work on and then staying on track can be overwhelming, I recommend using a structure that makes the next step clear. That's where your Project Framework comes in.   


The project framework is a system to help you stay on track as you are working towards developing a new habit or implementing a new positive behavior.  

Here is how you get started:

  1. Take some time to read over the description of the framework below and then get to work identifying the project you want to work on. 

  2. Once you have a project you want to tackle, try using the guide below to begin filling in your first worksheet. 

  3. If you want help filling in the worksheet contact Steve for an appointment, that’s what he's here for. 

  4. Take 5-10 minutes to review your project framework at least once a day and update it as needed. You will want to get into a habit of referencing back to the framework as you complete and begin new projects. 


Project identification is what you’re going to name the hard work you want to focus on. You can’t change everything at once. Pick a project and focus on it for about 4-6 weeks. You can always change your mind or choose another project as each one is complete. This is a chance to get clear with yourself about what feels most urgent in your life right now.


I suggest you make a list of possible projects and spend time thinking about which one or two are most pressing in your life today. Ask yourself which issue in your life you’d most like to improve and write them down. To get you thinking, here are some great projects ideas:

  • Cultivate friendships

  • Start dating

  • Break out of a rut in my marriage 

  • Improve my sex life

  • Learn how to care for myself

  • Feel more comfortable in difficult workplace conversations


Those are just some ideas to get you thinking. Your project should feel like something that really matters to you right now. Once you’ve selected at least one project from your list that feels most urgent now, you can begin the Project Framework worksheet. The section below outlines step by step how to use the worksheet.


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Guiding Principles


are the overarching concepts that you’ll use to tackle this project. What’s written here will guide the work you do on your project. You’ll know you’ve identified an important principal when embracing the principal motivates you to work on the project. You should read the principal and think, “Yes, that’s true and that idea can help me develop this part of my life.

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is a list of techniques you can experiment with to advance your project. These ideas can come from any source that resonates with you. Sources of tools you might use include on your list are books that you read, articles with good ideas, websites, suggestions you get from friends and any other source of ideas for things you might want to try. This section of the framework should get updated and refreshed daily or weekly. 

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is a list of the real life opportunities where you get to use the tools you’ve identified. Each item on this list should be linked to one specific tool. Identify specific times you will try using one of the tools on your list. Be very specific about when, where, and how you’ll practice the specific tool. For each practice there’s a debrief section with some questions for you to answer. Having a list of practices means you can never say "I don't know what to do"


If you commit to this process and take actions in each category, you’ll see progress.

Your life will change and you will experience something different from what you’re used to.  

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